little eagle
Female, age unknown, loves BLUE
Plays piano, played bass clarinet
in school band
Loves Snoopy, Chip & Dale,
Bugs Bunny, Seven Dwarfs,
Forever Friends Bear,
Doggies and Piggies
Eats when stressed.
Loves chocolates and icecream
Gets paranoid easily.
Prone to clumsiness and getting
frantic
1. Go Tasmania
2. Go New Zealand
3. Have a dog
4. Learn driving (eventually)
5. Save more money (on-going)
6. Be Healthy (trying very hard)
7. Find someone and have a family
(trying :D)
♥HOLIDAY PLANS
1. Malacca with J21
2. Taipei!
3. Holiday lessons for Sec 5
4. Long overdue Clarinets outing!
Truely, as much as I tell my parents that 'you don't understand me', I sometimes don't understand myself either. I don't understand how my reactions can be so drastic and so extreme sometimes. But whatever I do, I try my best to calm down and use those instances as experiences that I can share. I admit that I do cook up stories. But I only do that in class. When I talk heart to heart, I share true experiences.
Being not a very easy to understand person myself, I still realise that there're even more complicated people out there who are even harder to understand. But I see it as my responsibility to help them, no matter how much time and effort I need to put in, no matter how much it will drain my emotional and psychological limits. Especially if they're people whom I care for. Whether I'm capable or not, I don't know. For I know that I'm not perfect, and not 'ALL-purpose'. But I know that I'm definitely willing to help.
Several things have been happening recently. As much as I put in effort to try to help these people, nothing seems to improving. There're still things that I'm afraid to probe into, fearing that it'll strain the relationship further and I'll totally loose the connection. And as I help these people, I also realised that I have not been able to help the people who are even closer to me, whom I'm supposed to understand better.
It really pains me when you look so happy and lack of worries in front of me and I hear that you're actually still miserable from others. It makes me feel so incompetent, being someone who is on the surface so 'close' to you, and with the assumption that you trust me, but yet not being able to understand you or help you in anyway. As much as I like to ask you, I really wish that you'll talk to me yourself. I know it's hard for you, so I'll still wait and hope that you'll talk to me. Otherwise, just know that I'm always with you by your side, in moments of despair and when you thought all's lost, I'm still here. Always.
:D 2/03/2008 06:15:00 PM
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Classroom deco... OVER at last... Seriously dunno whether it's MY class or my student's class. I got so 'desperate' that I almost did everything and 'ask' the students to help me. My colleague said she's quite impressed... But really I think my class deco very lousy... Even though I did quite a lot of it... I seriously have no creativity lah...
CNY rehearsal was a disaster. NOTHING seems to be going well. Made us go on stand by... wait and wait... Then by the time we go on stage, not given enough time to do all the necessary technical adjustments. Just closed curtain and tell us to exit.. then I was told that we sang very badly. Can't hear piano sing what? I was like fuming mad... desperately trying to make myself cool down and smile. Then I said that choir needs some time for sound check... ok... then just barely few minutes after I said that, they got the MCs to start the full run from the beginning. I really got fed up, went over and insisted that choir needs a sound check before they can do a full SMOOTH run. Even got my choir to go stand in front of the stage and stare at the MCs and give them pressure. Like going on strike. Actually come to think of it now, I a bit bad lah... But I was fuming mad lah... Very difficult to hold back... Marcus and Robin were like.... ya we're angry too... but cool down...
After the rehearsal, back in the Music room, choir got a lecture from me... Ask them to smile, don't want to smile. Ask them to relax and move with the music and don't stand still and stiff, all standing like wooden blocks. I already have people telling me that they're too tense and they're too still and I assured them that they'll be fine if they relax and more ready with singing, the choir has always been able to stand up to occasion... Then? High hopes but in the end I had to eat all my words. I really don't know whether to scream at them or not... cos effectively I had no energy left after that rehearsal. Was supposed to take bus home with WeeKeng but in the end took cab home. I was so worn out that I can't even 'visualise' myself being able to walk from the bus stop back home.
So on friday, the choir had to do their rehearsal in the hall, to perfect their singing and get used to singing in the hall and its acoustics. Initially told the MR crew that only from 4-5... but in the end drag until 6. Must really thank them and Robin for staying back for us and help us with all the technical stuff. As for the choir, they finally look 'alive' and my 'head' was convinced that they are ready to perform on Wednesday.
After that, went to JX's place to have steamboat with the whole bunch of Sec 4s, from F24 '06. We actually moved out utensils and food in and out of the house 3 times! 1st time... drizzling... ok, we moved IN. but then, inside too crowded... so we look outside... aey... like no more rain... ok, move OUT. Then, 5 min later... hmm got raindrops leh... 10 mins later... oh no... rain drops getting bigger and bigger.... so... move IN. Then the steamboat was not like we cook what we want, but me and pam just throw in lots of food by random, and they just eat. Haha quite fun la.. then went upstairs for karaoke.
We were discussing abt our HK trip... all were like they don't trust JX for planning and wanted me to be backup plan. But seriously ah.. i v scared plan tis type of thing one... i already the oldest there, like big sister... later i have to take care of itinerary and still have to take care of 8 little 'kids' ... wah.. my head will burst.
